Shuttypoog: Orlando Bloom

Shuttypoog [Shud ee poog]:  A Shuttypoog makes little effort to improve their skills.  Having landed in the spotlight for handsome face structure and an enjoyable-to-say name the Shuttypoog was, unfortunately,  duped into stardom.  The shuttypoog will string along such consistent vocal banalities that sleep, even if one has just taken down vats of caffeine, will invite itself into those around the Shuttypoog.  The Shuttypoog is just kind of here and this sucks because they don’t make here any better.  The shutty, he poogs.  Example:  Orlando Bloom.

 

Roomee: Alan Alda

Roomee [Room y]:  The Roomee, simply put, is always ruminating something.  Since rumination has a strong root in “chewing the cud” the Roomee seems to have taken on life by slowing it into unflavored bittles of thought, as if nothing in this world can be swallowed and everything must be gnawed on over and over again.  The Roomee loves to say “huh” and “imagine that” and “interesting” and is often, for that matter, falling behind in discussion because they are still over-pondering how you might have said hello.   The Roomee will often masquerade as  a favorite figure, smiling for no reason and as giddy as a cocker spaniel, yet don’t be fooled–they’re not thinking about what you’re saying but what you said, long ago. Example:  Alan Alda.

 

Rugalug: Jeff Garlin

Rugalug [Rug uh lug]:  A rugalug is similar to someone who is roly poly but who is also hard to drag along.  The Rugalug will often weigh down space and not necessarily due to weight but to having the odd ability to spherically populate a place, as if an egg balancing on the equinox.  Their demeanor is what drags, as it is suggests that the Rugalug does not adhere to time and is moving by way of their own internal and fractured ideas of time and movement.  Often it is the speech that is slowed and sped for no particular reason and when this is coupled with the roly poly it makes for a pure Rugalug.  The rugalug will show clear sign of when they are to finish a thought or sentence.  Example:  Jeff Garlin.

 

 

Roober: David Spade

Roober [Rube er]:  The Roober is a seemingly smooth and inviting person, though they have an odd swagger that makes them questionable at times.  The Roober will not allow you to call him Roobs or The Roobs because integrity is an supposed integral fixture in the Roober’s life.  The Roober is a shoddy accompaniment to any scene and often steals scenes with quiet codes,–see the combination or rude and goober.   Everyone dslikes a Roober but not at all times as The Roober is good at making those around him look good.  Example: David Spade.

 

Quoof: Patrick Renna

Quoof [Kwoof]:  A Quoof is someone who disappears in a rather offputting manner, and when they do so they also do something lightly disgusting before leaving.  The strange part is that maybe they’ve returned but most likely in a warped shape or shade of the way we knew them way back when.  The Quoof is likable but sort of in a I-still-have-some-salsa-in-the-fridge-why-not-put-it-on-this-chicken kind of way.  Example:  Patrick Renna

Quarmysug:

Quarmysug [Qwarm ee sug]:  A Quarmysug is someone who is always being put into predicaments that do not suit them in cinema.  They may “seem” the part but they totter just outside of the part, making every other character uncomfortable.  They tend to permeate the air with minor annoyances the likes of which make a viewer sort of wander away from the film to a window or something and when they return to the film the sentiment is “this guy again eh?”  The quarmysug also mumbles, speaks out of the side of their mouths, or intones from one of only two places–indolence and insolence.  Example:  Jonah Hill.

Quimbloop: John Lithgow

Quimbloop [kwim bloop]:  A quimbloop is someone who carries an alarmingly eerie and buttery disposition into every performance, so much that any type of smile arriving on the face of the quimbloop scares the viewers or bumps them a bit into unexplainable and painful viewing territory.  The quimbloop will also break into what might seem to be song and dance but is just another personality bursting out of the arm hairs of the quimbloop, quim quim blooping.

Prumpatoo: Matthew Broderick

Prumpatoo [Prumpatoo]: A Prumpatoo is someone who is beyond boring and who stands no chance of ever making you like him again.  He may have done one good thing in life, as most people get to do, but he has not redeemed himself and holds no power to redeem himself for the hours upon hours of gargantuan monotony his presence has orchestrated in the pantheon of personas. He will often be seen with a tucked-in shirt, a tie, or any other form of lukewarm attire.  Example:  Matthew Broderick.  In close second place is David Schwimmer.

Pruppystug: Fred Savage

Pruppystug [Pruppystug]: A Pruppystug is someone who has the uncanny ability to forever remain very docile and preppy, almost as simple and jammy as a fig newton.  A Pruppystug will try and change this attitude by taking on strange roles but will revert immediately back to stug.  Example:  Fred Savage.

Plyndooger: Crispin Glover

Plindooger [Plindooger]: A Plyndooger is someone who always reappears having vastly reinvented themselves in an even scarier fashion.  The Plyndooger went from a relatively average character to someone outside of even our viewing control.  Example:  Crispin Glover.